We can only wonder about the deeper thoughts of Jesus as he hung on the cross. Did he perhaps see that in him God is on the cross—that God is in the suffering itself? It was a divine Person, after all, who uttered Jesus’ cry of desolation, though it came from a human heart.
It is natural for sinners to feel crushed if and when they finally understand what they have become. There is a moment of illumination when they see the emptiness of their lives, a moment when they see their lives as meaningless. At that moment they can choose spiritual life or death. St. Catherine of Siena said that the most grievous of sins is the final despair of those who believe their case is hopeless. Jesus allows even those who are faithful to him to share in the desolation and alienation of the Cross. In saint or sinner, the heart of Jesus has prepared the way for victory.
Let me never despair whatever my feelings may be, O Lord. You can overcome any obstacle. Your love is greater than any sin, my own or the sin of others. In the end, I believe you will bring me to yourself.